Praise the Lord

I go back to work on Monday! Hey at least I had all of Spring Break off to do absolutely nothing! The escort(my car that's transmission died) is being fixed! I hope that everything with me buying a new car goes okay! AHHH...I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SUMMER!

Aunt Lori

Losing My Way

By

Justin Timberlake

Hey excuse me

Hi my name is Bob and I work at my job
I make forty-something dollars a day
I used to be the man in my hometown
Until I started to lose my way
It all goes back to when I dropped out at school
Having fun, I was living the life
But now I got a problem with that little white rock
See I can't put down the pipe

And...

It's breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While my dreams fall down
Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down
No more friends around...
And my dreams fall down...
Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself...
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my way
Keep losing my way...
Keep losing my way...
Can you help me find my way?
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way...
Can you help me find my way?

Now you gotta understand I was a family man
I would have done anything for my own
But I couldn't get a grip on my new found itch
So I ended up all alone
I remember where I was when I got my first buzz
See I thought I was living the life
And the craziest thing is I'll probably never know the color of my daughter's eyes

And it is breaking me down
Watching the world spin round
While me dreams fall down
Is anybody out there?

It is breaking me down
No more friends around...
And my dreams fall down...
Is anybody out there?

Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself.

Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help find my way?
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help me find my way?

Oh my god please forgive me (father hear my prayer)
'Cause I know I've done some wrong in this life
If I could do it all again
Have just one more chance
To take all those wrongs and make them right

Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself.

Can anybody out there hear me?
'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me?
'Cause I can't seem to see myself
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere
Can you save me from this hell
Can anybody out there feel me?
'Cause I can't seem to feel myself

Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help me find my way?
Losing my way
Keep losing my way
Keep losing my way
Can you help me find my way?

A bump in the road

Its funny, if you notice in my last post...just for my enjoyment by the way...I'm a heck of a lot whiter than all of the celebrities...by the way I did another one with a different picture of myself and the results were better...I just didn't like that picture of myself!(talk about a run-on)

Anyway, I've had a hard week so far...but God always prevails! I just need to trust...thats all I ever need to do! I've had a migrain all day today but sadly I don't have the option of staying in bed all day! My brother needs to get to work and the chores need to be done! I've been kind of down as well. Some of the choices I've made result in consequences that are depressing! For instance...where I'm at in school...that sucks...I totally didn't take the steps I needed to, to get toutoring or to be in study groups! Sometimes I feel like I catch up only to still be behind in my finances. Thats really not the case but...theres always something that comes up!(I'm very blessed though because God ALWAYS provides...just as he has these next two weeks when I'm off work!(tax returns came)) I'm really longing to be independent though. I need to get out and experience life on my own. I feel like living with my parents enables me to not be responsible(believe me I'm not blaming them...I'm just saying I give myself excuses because I have a fall back). I've been extremly emotional...it kind of sucks when you hit the scan button on the radio and then nothing is on so you turn it back to the fish and start crying...man I don't know whats wrong with me!(thank the Lord nobody was with me they would of thought I was CRAZY!) I really just think I'm lonely. I hardly see Cindi, Kelly, Michelle, Lydia, Alysha, Jessie, Emily, or Mackenzie anymore! The only one I see is Lisa...and don't get me wrong I LOVE her SO much! I think sometimes me and lisa find company in each others misery(just an expression were not miserable...just like to eat when bored and shop when depressed or sad)! I need some encouragement. I've never thought that I was words of affirmation, but I think that I am! I mean I'm not like some people bagging and fishing for compliments. I kind of hide in the backround when it comes to that kind of stuff...I like giving compliments to! I have a feeling that latter this week I'm going to wanna rip my hair out...RIP IT! AHHHHHHHH...I'M SO BORED!!!!!

-Lord, Help me to have patients! Help me to get through this rough week...I know I ask for a lot...and I'm always thankful that you provide. Help me to have confidence in myself. Help me to be bold and unpredictable.

Well, I think thats it for today. I'm very sleepy so I'm gonna hit the sheets!

SOMEDAY!

My Celebrity look a likes!(enjoy...I did lol)

Melencolie

So, these past couple of weeks have been particularly hard for me! Friday my client went to doctor and I tagged along. When she went in for her visit the doctor immediately sent her downstairs(emergency room at city hospital)! She was severly dehydrated(I give her lots of water...its not because of me) and her blood pressure was way down! I feel so bad for her. So, they admitted her friday evening! I found out last night(when I was in the Movie "We are Marshall"-very good by the way) that I wouldn't have to come in today because she wasn't being discharged until afternoon. Then I went to her condo to get my papers signed so I could get paid, and I found out that she going into a "Nursing Home"/rehibilitation center temporarily for two weeks! Its so sad...she's like my family...I hate to see her sick! Not to mention I'm going to be out of REAL work for two weeks! Thats a whole pay period! Are you kidding me??? I don't want to complain but its really hard not to right now! I'm giving props to God though...I just got my 1000 dollar tax returns...Praise God! He is taking complete care of me. Some things are going to have to go on hold though unfortunatley! Right now I have to be wise with my money.
I feel like I have many responsibilities that I didn't ask for! I know thats a part of life but sometimes I just don't want to be INVOLVED! This person treats me like a Queen only because I did what I was suppossed to...Forgive them! This person is now questioning authority in a particular group because they feel left out. They turn to me for advice...I can't help them because its not my place to tell them what the deal is! This person thinks I'm their best friend but I have told that person several times that best friends don't happen over night when you hurt someone and decieve them! Then, when I'm busy this person calls and I can't answer...then "I'm ignoring them"...sheesh! I tell you this person is so controling...and I can't seem to get away from it! I feel like God gave me a burden not to abandon this person. I haven't I just can't let them in like they were before! I still care for this person...I just want to see them flourish in their relationship with God! This is me venting! If I tell anyone else I almost always get advice(biblical) or the other just what they personally think. What I wish would happen is that someone would just go up to them and tell them hey this is how it is! Everytime I say that I'm here for that person but it doesn't mean that were great friends...the person calls me nonstop asking me to go do stuff with them...MAN! I have...obviously it doesn't work coming from me because I've asked this person not to texted me anymore like 5 times and they still do it! AHHHH!!!
Just be praying that I do the right thing! I have a couple of important decisions to be making soon! My luck...nobody reads this!

Life and Change

So, What's up in my life? What a funny question to ask myself. I have come to the realization that I'm extremly blessed! That's all I can say. The Lord is faithful. I just recently paid off all of my uneccisary debt(credit cards) and got everything else in order. This year for taxes I'm getting everything back for a college credit. I'm getting like 1078 dollars. I know what I wanna do with the money, but what I wanna do and my mom wants me to do are two very seperate things. As soon as I start to get excited thinking what I'm going to do my mom points at me and says sternly "You better bet your using this for a down payment on a car"...basically I don't have a choice because they own the car I drive now. You know what though...God has provided so much. Now I'm not going to have to save for ages before I can get a car. Who knows...I may have other oppertunities presented to me to do what I really want to do!
So, yesterday a friend(Lisa) whom I have just recently been hanging around more since high school(she had a boyfriend long story...everyone knows how that goes). We went clear to Lodi yesterday for outlet shopping. Then she had the brilliant idea to go up to Tower City and eat at Hard Rock Cafe...yeah we thought we were cool! Probably because the last time that both of us were there it was a big deal cause we were in Washington D.C.!lol We got daquries(mine was a virgin) in suvinior glasses and took pictures...it was funny we both got burgers because we refused to spend more than 12 dollars for a meal.(this was because me daqurie was 8 dollars and her alcoholic one was 12). Anywho...I love life and I love my friends.
Oh, so about the previous blog...breakawy...I need to breakaway...I feel and know I define myself by my friends and tend to hide behind them. I need to go out and do things on my own. I need to(yes I'm shocked to) mingle...gasp...the glass drops to the ground.lol Too many times people will come up to me and ask my name and then introduce themselves, come later they forget me and start the process all over again. I HATE THAT...I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTABLE! This one person has asked me my name at least 5 times in the past year...he's introduced himself everytime. I have even told him we have meant before but he still keeps forgetting. But you know what...he remember's Kelly. I was there first.(that really doesn't matter...I just wanted to throw it in their for effect). Okay well I gotta get ready for church...next post...BLACK WEDNESDAY!

Breakaway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreamin' of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray

Trying hard to reach out

But, when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I'd prayI could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But, I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train

Travel on a jetplane, far away

And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun

I won't forget all the ones that I love

I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swinging round revolving doors

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me

But, gotta keep moving on, moving on

Fly away, break awayI'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta

Take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And break away

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But, I won't forget the place I come from

I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And break away

-Kelly Clarkson